Blessed Sunday

Today after church, my family was supposed to go to a church member's home for house dedication. Mum and I were thinking we could take a cab there. Turns out their car had enough space for the 3 of us. Yay! And not only that, they reserved tables at this really good Italian place for lunch. I had the best risotto ever. Can still feel the mushrooms in my tummy, hehhe!

Their house is lovely. Lovely view. Good breeze. Spacious. I pray God will fill their home with love, joy and laughter. They even drove us back as they needed to go somewhere near us to pick up some furniture. Really very blessed today.

My seizures for June has been lesser than May, despite the haze. It is really so awesome. I pray and hope that July will be the same as well.

No seizures since Sat noon! Amen!

Sat noon, I decided to do the laundry. While taking clothes out of the washing machine to hang, I had a minor seizure, resulting in me almost dropping my mum's damp shirt. After that, I even looked at the shirt, wondering how to hang it. LOL!

After that in the evening, I had to go down to our new church premises to set up the music instruments. On Sunday, I realized that I had to step out of my comfort zone and stand on stage as a backup vocalist. Back at our old church location, our stage wasn't big enough, so we stood off stage at a corner. I always stood near the seats just in case I felt giddy or wanted to sit down. Not very professional, yeah.

I was like "Oh no... on stage??? What if I faint!!! What if I have a minor seizure!!! I'll ruin the worship service!!!" I went off to have a little time to myself in the ladies (ya, I know it's not the most appropriate place to talk to God, but I really like being in a small tiny enclosure with no disturbance ok!), and asked God to please protect me and not let me have any seizures on stage. He answered my prayer!!! Oh come on, how would God ever let such a minor thing ruin Sundays right??

Just like what my dad preached. Faith and Fear cannot coexist. I must exercise that on a daily basis.

I say roughly the same prayers every night before I sleep. Sometimes I think if God wanted to speak to me audibly, he'll tell me to have some new things to say to him. I always ask Him to protect my family, bless us with good night's rest and give us sweet dreams.

Then I realized I haven't had the need to record any forms of sleep disorders, leg jerks or seizures since Sat afternoon. Despite a threatening haze of over 150 PSI, hot and humid weather. Haze + Hot + Humid just doesn't do it for me. I should have been born in some cold country. Dad hates the hot weather too.

I think right now, the only thing draining my energy is work. Sometimes the lazy me wishes my neurologist will declare me unfit to work. Or only can work from home. Something like that. :P But I shouldn't complain. I know a lot of people in the world have it worse.

Let's continue to pray for no more seizures! ;)

What do you do when your prayers are half answered?

You continue to thank God for answering your prayers. :)

I've been praying for good night's rest and sweet dreams. But I realise I still get tremblings when I try to sleep, especially when I feel that I'm drifting to sleep. And it happens in the mornings when I wake up too. I still get the occasional leg jerks in the mornings as well.

I got this message today:

Today, Pam, we believe God wants you to know that ...

true faith flowers from and through doubt.

If you never questioned your beliefs, - you are just a puppet dancing to somebody's strings. If God had wanted your 

mindless obedience, you would've been created without mind and without free will. But you have both so you can 

come to God of your own accord. Just look at the lives of saints, - most of them had gone through a dark night of 

the soul, and that's why their faith was so strong. The path to true faith always goes through doubt. So ask those 

questions you've always been afraid to ask, and find the answers, and then your faith will become unshakable.

Heh, amazing right? 

On this day of your life...

I was wondering what to post about. I've had enough of those angry ranting posts from the past, when I'd used to blog about how so and so irritated me and how so and so was very rude.

When I used to be really upset or angry, I'll come home and continue to rant about it to my parents or complain to my ex boyfriend. One fine day, he asked me to stop talking about my anger all the time. Back then, I didn't understand why. I didn't understand how come I can't talk about it. Not that I have the answer now, but I DO understand that the less angry you are, the more at peace you become.

Ok, so recently the management made a decision that a lot of us aren't very pleased about. I didn't talk about this to my parents, and only shared a bit of details to my ex colleague. I didn't blog about it, but yes, I knew I wasn't pleased about it. In the end, I ended up talking to God about it. I told God, yes I'm not happy. But I believe everything is for a reason and a purpose. So, if this is how it should be, then ok. I'll learn to live with it and just believe and trust God.

Got a notification in FB from this app, God Wants You To Know:

On this day, God wants you to know that...

...only full acceptance can bring you true peace.

Acceptance does not mean resignation. Accept to befriend and transform, instead of trying to fight and destroy.

Hahaaha, doesn't God work in mysterious ways?

My bestie gave birth!

Welcome to Earth, little Asher Elia!!!

Bestie was describing to me the entire process from when her water bag burst, to at the hospital, to when she finally went into labour. WITHOUT EPIDURAL!!!!

I salute my mom. And those women from olden days who didn't have the luxury of hospitals and medical help.

Thought that it'll be easy to get a cab back from the hospital. Heck no.. no cab! And I was feeling so tired and getting nervous cos it was getting late and the taxi queue isn't a very comfortable area. Thank God I managed to book a cab and reached home safely.

Reading through past memories

I decided to click on a blog I was following, and then saw a link to my past blog. Curious, I clicked on it as I've forgotten what I've blogged about at other blogsites.

Wow, I was such a nasty person. Haha. And I was so much slimmer last time! I look at my reflection now and even mothers of 2 or 3 kids look better than I do. Oh wells, it's my fault for not exercising and gorging on my beloved sugars.

Of course, there were entries that made me smile too. Entries of when I trusted the Lord through times of difficulty. I guess... this one year or so of putting my focus on what's not important had made me forgotten the most important thing. God.

Last night, I had one of the worst nights trying to sleep. Somehow I kind of expected it. Like I somehow knew I won't be having a peaceful sleep even though I've already prayed. Not sure why. I even turned in early. It lasted all the way till the morning. I would be drifting to sleep, then would be disrupted with mild seizures. Even after I managed to sleep, I woke up with mild seizures again. Very nerve wreaking.

I didn't intend to let my mom know about it, and she was nagging about laundry not done. Which I kept quiet and let her nag. In the past I would have snapped or gave her a black face. But I guess it's my fault as well for forgetting. Later on, she asked about whether my sleep test would be covered by insurance, which I didn't know. That gave me an opportunity to let her know of my awful night. Thank God she didn't nag further after that.

Amazingly, I managed to get some sleep in my sister's room! No seizures! And my bed is supposed to be more comfy that hers.

I really pray tonight I have a good night's rest. I need the energy for church tomorrow. I want to go to church.