Today, while lunching, This bird flew to the table nxt to mine. At first, I didn't take any notice of it, until I realised it was missing a leg. 

I felt v sad n desperately wanted to do something for it, though I dun think it'd fancy curry chicken n warm barley.

I wonder how it lost its leg, and whether it can survive, with a disability...  

Was tempted to buy bread for it, as it was standing there, waiting. I was also stunned by my colleague's nonchalant attitude towards a feathered friend, which made me ask if she hated animals. :( We had already finished, n she got up to leave, but my legs stood rooted, staring at the poor bird. She just went: "let's go", n I was like: "but the poor bird..." Her reply was just a "then wat u want to do?" 

What do i want to do? There are so many things I could have done, or others could have helped me do. Like feed the bird. Give it a lil water. But no one bothered. How saddening. 

Until now, the bird is on my mind. 

Sry blog, I was too busy to update.

This past 2 weeks, I have started on my new job. I must say it's been stressful for me, until I am on MC today. Reason being, I woke up to multiple seizures, all the way till noon. Just had another. It's worrying me. I've not had so many seizures in a single day before. Thank God they are all minor seizures.

I feel very bad to take MC, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I won't wanna have a full blown grand mal outside. Doctor says I'm probably too stressed up, getting used to the new environment and learning the products and services required for my job. To be honest, I fear my boss. She seems very strict. Hopefully she won't be hard on me tmr when I return.

Really hope that these seizures will stop. They are ruining my life and annoying me.

In love with this new drink!

I went into 711 this morning, wanting to get my daily must have yogurt drink. Instead, I stumbled upon this! Morning Rice! 

Was kind of skeptical, and wasn't really sure if I wanted to take the risk of buying it n hating it, but curiousity killed Miss Kitty here. It cost $2.20 for this bottle. 

So I gave it a little shake, then opened it n smelled it. It has a little milky nutty scent, n taste like rice milk with a hint of nut. I was surprised at how refreshing it is! Needless to say, I'm a fan now. 

Did some googling, and found out this beverage can be used for those on diets, or can be used to replace milk in the morning if you're eating cereal. How tasty! I'm definately going to look out for this everytime I go into a 711 now! 

Am not part of celebrity land anymore

Today was my last day.

I miss that place already.

Took my final pic with M. Guess I'll never be seeing him again. Better that way. And guess what, that bitch just had to follow me on twitter after I thought I'll never have to be affected by the 2 of them anymore. Whatever, I hardly tweet anyway.

I am so blessed. I won a mermaid top (God knows what I can do with it), and a Coach 3 piece set! Awesome!!! Dearest dept bought me the white musk smoky rose EDP from Body Shop. So lovely. And a cool mask pack and eyeshadow applicators! Very cool! Best of all, they made a handmade card for me. I love handmade stuff! I will MISS my team deeply.

About a week back, I suddenly thought of a long lost friend. We had a disagreement, resulting in us kicking each other off all social media. Now it's been years, and I wanted to extend out the olive branch.

So I dropped her an email. Well, I'm not sure if she even uses that email any more. Until now there isn't a reply. I sent her a twitter. Nadah. My friends say at least I'm the better one for even trying and her silence just proves that she's a petty and childish bitch. Hahaha, thanks dearies.

Less than 2 weeks and I'm outta here. I feel really sad, actually. No more celebs, no more chilling with colleagues. I don't even know if I'll like my new workplace. Meh.

Ok, I resigned. And took on a better paying job, doing the same thing. And kick me, but I'm kind of regretting it. Like a soon-to-be bride dreading her wedding day. Because, I've grown so sick of telesales. I hate having to persuade people to sign this, take up that package. I hate getting rejected calls and having to deal with snobby gatekeepers who don't know when to draw the bloody line.

Let's face it. I'm not exactly the friendliest person around. I hate having to sound friendly over the phone, when all I want to do is kill someone. So what makes me think I'll be happier with a higher pay, but doing the same job over again?

I actually feel like calling them up to reject the offer, and run away to another country to study embalming. Hahaha. I actually like the thought of being an embalmer. As someone who has a diploma in bridal makeup, it'll be a waste not to put those skills to use yeah?

I've checked. USA and London has embalming courses. Anyone wanna sponsor me? :P

I recently uploaded my resume into a job portal just for the fun of it, and within days, I got many calls from agents with potential jobs for me. 

Narrowed my choices down to 2. One was convenient from my home, with nice working hours, a pay jump of $330 but no job progression. The other required a bit of travelling, promises of job progression and a nice pay jump of $430. The only thing was I had to start over again as a contract staff. 

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I hate the word "contract staff". I have worked hard in my present company, and gotten my fix term through hard work. So it'll take lots of persuasion to make me downgrade back to a contract. 

According to the agent, job 2 likes me a lot, and their hiring manager even called me to try and persuade me further. Said she saw potential in me and what not. Yeah yeah, I don't trust strangers 100% ok? I have trust issues with strangers. 

Anyway, I tried to push my luck and asked for an additional $100. Because to quit now, I lose my 13th month bonus, which is so not worth it. And I still have to pay a couple of hundreds for the extra leaves I took. Even all not worth it. 

In the end I turned both down. Job 1 for obvious reasons, job 2 cos they weren't willing to pay additional $100. 

So much for being very potential and liking me a lot. Hahaha. Never mind, I love my colleagues here and I love the relaxed environment. I also love the occasional celeb moments I get. I shall take my hard earned 13th month bonus and start a job search again next year. 

My boss said he'll give me a big christmas present if I don't quit. I shall eagerly wait for my present. Thank you boss! 

Do you have a love/hate relationship with someone? A friend? A boss? A family member? I'm sure you all do. 

I hate that feeling you know? Sometimes you like this person, sometimes you just wish they didn't exist. Most of the time you feel inferior to that particular person, but there's nothing you can do about it. 

That aside. I had a friend whom I regarded as a sister. We met while doing an interview for a local paper for a Valentines Day contest. We hit it off really well, whatsapped every single day, went out every single week. Then all things changed after she was crowned the ultimate winner. She claimed that she was always the one doing the txting to the guy, and didn't seem grateful that he actually bothered to respond. FYI, he's a celeb? And to my understanding, celebs are too busy to have their phones next to them all day, like us mere minions? And she whined that he never asked her out after the contest. And kept getting irritated that the reporter wanted to do a follow up interview with her and so on. 

Like HELLO?? It was already stated in the terms and conditions before you actually sent in your application ya? Can read or not? 

I was trying to tolerate it and be nice, telling her he's busy filming and doing photoshoots, and hosting shows. But she didn't seem to understand. To me, it's just a bloody contest. Whether he was really into her or not, it's his choice and he already crowned her as his final choice, what else is she expecting? A marriage proposal? 

And she didn't seem to get it. Her dream guy had chosen her. Txted her. Taken her out for dinner. Bothered to even reply her messages. Not those one word two word line answers, mind you. My dream guy, Mr M (same contest, different guy), only put me in his Top 6 out of obligation, didn't even bother to return most of my txts, and when he did, only one two WORDS (yes, no, haha), that sort. Eh hello. If you're gonna reply like that, don't bother replying. And he spent the entire V day evening with his eyes fixed on the bitch he finally chose. In fact, before that night, I knew he was already going to pick that bitch. 

I call her a bitch not because he picked her. I call her a bitch cos she used me to dig out info about him, and I stupidly fed her info. I call her a bitch cos she can proclaim that I suit him better, she's not into him, and then appear in the bloody paper with him a few weeks with headlines that scream: "SHE MADE THE FIRST MOVE BY KISSING HIM". Bitch. Slut. Whore. 

I think I'm too nice. 

Ok back to the topic. She whined and whine. And complained and complained. The final straw came when she txted me and went: "What's wrong with him! I finally got over him and now he has to come into my life again by liking my FB status." 

I snapped and told her to quit whining and grow up. I forgot what's the exact word she used on me, but it wasn't very pleasant. Something about me not understanding and being mean. Erm hello? Do you expect me to comply with you and let you whine till the day you die or give you tough love? 

Then a few days ago, I realised I don't see her updates on FB anymore. Went to check, and realised she had unfriended me. ROFL. She unfriended her dream guy too. 

Sheesh, I'm not that childish. My ex dream guy is still in my friends list. I just blocked his updates only. :P  

My job stinks donkey balls

When I was in retail, i told my friends I could prolly write a book about the weird n nasty customers I encountered. Now that I'm in telesales, I think I can write a book about the same topic as well. 

I absolutely HATE my job. 

Since I'm blogging via the phone, it'll take forever to type out everything. So I shall continue my whining tonight. If I remember. :P 

Blogging from my office

I came across this website at complex.com, about 10 signs it's time to quit your job. Found it while googling "Signs you should quit your job". 

This is not the first time I've had thoughts of quitting. This issue has been nagging at me since last year and the only reason why I gave up a better job offer back then was because of M. Now he's out of the picture, I have no reason to stay on anymore too. How much longer can I stay on and bear with SOP that I don't agree on, just to oogle at celebrities? Esp when the upper ups are in my Dislike List? 

I love this paragraph from the article: 

Life is far too short to spend time doing work that you don't enjoy. If you start to feel dissatisfied at work, and it doesn't blow over in a few days, it usually just eats at you and eats at you until you can't take it any more  Very quickly, you find yourself struggling to get out of bed in the morning and suffering through the nagging distress of living a life you don't enjoy. 

In fact, I don't even need to Google for answers already. The answer is very obvious. It's time to say GOODBYE to this place. 

I'm lying on my bed with my little cat falling asleep on my lap. She's such a sweetheart and I wish I could be her.

Am dreading tmr. Firstly, I'm sick n tired of my job. To the point where I don't feel like being helpful and polite to anyone. In fact, I got a scolding for going against SOP last Tues. My senior manager is probably gonna give me hell tmr when he's back. 

Honestly, I think too much SOP is stupid. I feel very caged, suffocated and restricted. Think I don't suit this kind of environment. I've never had issues with any higher authority before until I worked here. So is it my attitude that has a problem or is it the management that is the problem? 

I feel very drained and unhappy, especially thinking of the 5 days I have to drag myself to work. But I can't even think of a job that I'll like to do. How? 

Yikes! I forgot to blog! Been too caught up with my HK and Korean dramas! I'm currently watching Always and Ever and Gu Family Book! Love them both, and their OST is lovely! Gonna have new additions to my playlist!

I had the honor to meet Nick Vuljicic on Friday for a little while at my workplace. Even had a selfie with him, though he wasn't looking somewhere else! He is such an inspiration and I'm so motivated by him. I wish I can speak 1/2 as well as he can!

On Sat, I decided to spend a little bit of cash to have a hair makeover at Hairloom. I don't regret spending over $400 there, as I'm very satisfied with the style. Everyone who saw me on Sunday loves it. My mom loves it too. I look so Korean! This is just part one. My new stylist wants to recolor it as well.

In a previous entry, I had complained about the lousy service at a particular salon. It isn't even a cheap salon to begin with. If I had done the same stuff there, it'll cost around this price too. The moment I stepped into Hairloom, I knew I was going to walk out looking great and satisfied.

My health has been getting better recently! Amen! I have less seizures, less leg jerks. I still get the jerks when I play the piano. No idea why. So annoying. I pray they go away soon. Tmr is my EEG results. I know I can expect a miracle. :)

Improvements in seizures this week!

I usually get a minor seizure or two every other day or so. But guess what! I only had a minor seizure yst and today! How awesome is that!

And I was actually not certain I could hit my lead generation target this month, being away from work for days... but God is so awesome, he not only let me hit my target, he gave me 3 sales conversions as well! Even though they aren't big amounts, I am genuinely happy. I hope Sept will be a great month as well!

Blessed Sunday!

Today we had a special speaker from Australia. And when I was helping to project the powerpoint slides, I just felt that the sermon was for me. The title of the sermon was "Are You Waiting For A Miracle?"

Yes I am. I've always been praying and hoping for a miracle. That I won't have seizures anymore, that I'll be cured from epilepsy. Every doctor says there is no cure. Even surgery won't cure it, just greatly reduce it. But the God I've learnt about and read about, has even raised people from the dead, so I'm pretty sure he can easily kick epilepsy out of my life if he wanted to.

The preacher wanted to give an altar call to heal those needing healing and those who were waiting for a miracle. I was on duty as back up vocalist so I went onstage instead, and watched while most of the congregation stepped forward.

Then something amazing happened. She took the mic and said she sensed there was a female who wasn't out in front yet, and that person had been hoping for a cure to something everyone said impossible. (Or something like that). I suddenly just started crying on stage and knew I had to get off stage and go to the front.

She asked if I had been baptized in tongues yet. I shyly shook my head. (More like embarrassed, lol! Been a christian for so long and can't speak in tongues, tsk tsk). Then she just asked me to relax and pray with her, and I suddenly could speak in tongues while following after her. Not mimicking her ok? I also don't know how to describe it, but I just knew God had blessed me. Then she asked me to repeat after her in prayer for healing. The whole experience was so awesome.

I still have my EEG results on 9th Sept. I'm confident that the results will be a miracle. :)

Bad day at the salon

Ever since I learnt the word vanity, I'm super anal about who touches my locks. The only time I'll ever step into a $10 quick cut outlet is if I'm damn broke and starting to look like Medusa with a bad hair day.

So thanks to gvt money last month, I decided to give my locks a treat by getting a cut and color.

I know a lot of people have had bad experiences at a particular famous hair salon. Personally I don't see what's the fuss about that place either. They hire people who can't speak decent English and half their stylists are all aunties who aren't very well groomed.

Tip here: If you want to know if a stylist is good, just look at his/her style sense. If not, just use Google. :P

Well, at my new home, I only have a choice of Jean Yip and Super Cuts. Both have bad and good reviews. I won't reveal which salon I picked, in case someone reads this and decides to sue me, because some people are just to damn free.

I have never been so pissed at a stylist before in my entire 31 years of living.

When I made a booking yst over the phone, I clearly stated I wanted a Director to cut my hair. They assured me all the stylists there were seniors. Hmm. Fishy. But oh well.

I was assigned an auntie. Like omgosh. But of course it's not polite to ask for another stylist. So I sat there, preparing for the worst. She asked what color I wanted. I showed her the picture of Michelle Phan's rose gold hair. She then started talking in mandarin, trying to explain that I needed to bleach my hair, then have highlights and different tones and whatever I can decipher, because my mandarin is that bad. Then suggested a dark tone, which is no different from my current hair color. Then like that I dye my hair for what! I insisted I wanted Rose Gold, and spoke to her to English.

Let me tell you, you want to work in Singapore, you jolly well pick up enough English to survive at work. I cannot emphasize enough how much I hate it when I'm at work, I call up a company and the recep goes: "Can you speak mandarin?" Hello, I do not work in CHINA.

Anyway in the end I got so fed up that she had to call a more capable person, who thankfully spoke good english, to explain to me why I couldn't have Michelle's hair color. Damaged hair ends, too thin hair, etc. Ok point taken and accepted, thank you very much. So I asked for his recommendation, which he gave 2 options. I picked the 2nd option, which was a light brown that is supposed to be popular in Korea.

Guess what! I hate it! It doesn't look any different from my natural hair color! Like wth? My face was so black when I saw the end results, and she still dared to say I was the one that picked the color. Which I had to remind her, it was her colleague who recommended it. In fact I was so bloody pissed that she offered to re dye it in 2 weeks time if it doesn't fade to the brown as shown on the color chart. No thank you.

And when she asked if I wanted a haircut, I said yes, I wanted to change hairstyle. Her retarded reply? "Ok, u want to trim?" I decided not to correct her and just let her trim it, in case I end up looking even worse, since she can't differentiate between a trim and a change of hairstyle.

Am never ever going back to this stupid salon again. Not even if they throw free vouchers at me.

This evening, I learnt from my parents that a wonder evangelist passed away 2 days back of old age. The last time I saw him was a few months ago, when he came to preach. Even though I didn't know him personally, I still feel very sad over his passing. At least it's a comfort to know he is back with the Lord in Heaven, and I hope that I'll have the honor to see him there again when it's my turn to pass on.

Rest In Peace.

I had a grand mal again last night and had difficulty falling asleep after that during bedtime. :(

Well good news is that the time frame between each grand mal is getting slightly longer, and since I've been declared sleep apnea free, it's just one of those wonky days.

I think it must have been a combination of caffeine overdose + emotional anger + stress. Hey, I'm human, I can't help getting angry and stressed, especially in Singapore.

Oh well, thank God I didn't have any bleeding teeth this time round. Just a bump on my head. Hope my IQ doesn't drop any further. And the most hilarious part was, my door was open, and my mom was outside teaching tuition! ROFL! And no one was aware of it!

Ok, having orange juice today instead of caffeine. Gonna cut it off slowly to save my poor life. Byebye chocolates. *cries*

*Update*

Gosh, 5 mins after I declare I'm not touching caffeine, I take out a choki choki chocolate paste and eat.

No sleep issues!

Long overdue post. I forgot to blog! And too busy watching K dramas too. :p

I went to have my overnight sleep apnea test in the hospital. Didn't expect the room to be so comfortable! Furnished with dressing table, attached bathroom, TV, aircon, comfy bed... I was actually sad that I didn't have to stay the 2nd night, haha!

Well, I really am thankful for today. Last few days at work were a torture. No sales leads. And I asked God to please at least gimme a lead today. He gave me THREE! And I had really yummy mango pudding bubble tea. It was so good.

Ok, I'm gonna go whack baddies in Marvel Avengers now, and then go back to Baek Dong Su.
I'm a horrible blogger. :D

Have to cut down on Chai.. *cries*

This morning before work, I decided to treat myself to my favorite Chai tea latte. Now for those who are unaware, epileptics should stay away from caffeine. Meh. But i really wanted a chai latte!!! 

I had a few sips while waiting for my bus and guess what! I had a minor seizure! Sheesh! Thank God I didn't drop my $6.80 chai! And after that, I felt really sick, and didn't want to take the risk of drinking anymore. 

Decided to give the drink to any of my colleagues who would want it. To my amazement... NO ONE LIKED CHAI! How can anyone not like CHAI! They didn't even like the smell of it! Wahh! Dear God, please have chai in Heaven for me k! 

So tmr is The Day. My sleep apnea test. I hope my room is cosy and nice. 

He's here....

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!!

Went with mum to catch this awesome musical yst at Marina Bay Sands.

It was so good. Standing ovation. I wish I could buy another ticket to watch it again. We were blessed to have 20% discount for the good seats, so we were seated near the stage.

Isn't the stage beautiful??

I wish I could sing like Claire Lyon. She has such an amazing voice, and she gave me goosebumps when she hit that last high note, singing "Phantom Of The Opera".

Really hope that the sequel, "Love Never Dies", comes to Singapore one day.

Movie review part 2 and falling down in the toilet. (Meh)

Okie, so I didn't like the 2nd movie, I will be lazy again and not search for pics. I watched Pacific Rim in 3D. Now, if I had known it'll be in 3D, I'll give it a miss. Epileptics like me are sensitive to flashing lights. But I only realized when I arrived at the cinema.

Thank God I made it through the movie and home in one piece.

The movie was action packed, but with a really predictable plot. Not the kind that I'll pay money to go watch, and not the kind I'll watch again for free. In fact, I only enjoyed the parts with the cute dog and the part where the lead actor got whacked by the cute japanese girl.

I was in the shower just now when I had a minor seizure again, but this time I slipped and fell to the ground. Not very serious but I have a bruised knee now. Sigh, I guess it's not my day today, but I should be thankful that it wasn't a serious issue. And I should be even more thankful that my seizures this month is lesser than last month. :)

Movie review part 1!

I am very blessed to work in a company that gives out free movie tickets. Of course, each department is given out a few pairs only, and we have to ballot for it. On Tues, my colleague won the tickets to watch The Rooftop, by Jay Chou.

Look at the attractive poster!

Jay Chou is so talented. I'm pretty sure he composed and penned the lyrics for most of the songs, or maybe all the songs. This movie is set like a musical, and although it's quite a typical story line (celebrity meets normal guy, falls in love with each other, throw in some bad people here and there), I would pay to go watch it again. I love musicals, and even though the ending was pretty much predictable (I won't ruin the show for people who actually read this entry and want to catch the show), it was a great show.

This is Jay and newcomer Li Xin Ai, who plays his love interest. I think she resembles Fan Bing Bing!

Hahaha, one of the songs in the show, it was so cute and catchy, and I really have to repeat myself. Jay Chou is so freaking talented!

His make believe home, The Rooftop. How pretty! I would love to stay here!

On Wed I watched another free movie again. Shall blog about it tomorrow, because I am busy playing Age Of Wushu. Haha. And there will be another Mr M entry too soon. :P

A visit to the dentist

These few days whenever I brush my teeth, I realise that there's blood on my toothbrush and when I rinsed too. At first it was just a little, so I thought nothing of it, until last night when I got a scare! There was more blood than usual and my mom decided to accompany me to the dentist this morning.

My dad always says he fears the dentist more than he fears the devil. Hahaaha. I detest trips to the dentist too. Anyway, it didn't turn out to be anything serious YET. All I needed was a clean up and tips on how to have better dental care.

The clean up was rather annoying. It wasn't super painful, but my tolerance for pain has always been low, so I was trying hard not to struggle in my seat, while the dentist and his assistant cleaned my teeth for me. And now I have a huge red bottle of gurgle have I have to use twice a day.

What was most annoying was that I heard 3 people, including me, was on MC today and the boss wasn't pleased. Like hello, do you think we take MC on purpose? Especially when you come up with some stupid point system and minus 200 points whenever someone takes an MC? They say it's to make sure no one plays with the MC. But what if someone was genuinely unwell. Then I think this deduction of points won't be fair. And furthermore, if he was such a fantastic boss, who would go around playing with MC to begin with.

When I worked in the airport, I had such a good boss, that my MC rate was so low. I hardly took leave as well, until they had to make me go on leave.

Now my current boss only knows how to be a pen pusher. Nothing we do pleases him. Whatever. I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my day.

Shopping day!!

My colleague and I have been craving for Astons since months ago, so we decided to have a girls day out and satisfy our craving at The Cathay. She ordered the hickory bbq chicken and I decided on the teriyaki.

 

I'm not sure if it's because of the crowd or is it this branch's standard has dropped. We wanted pasta salad and mac & cheese for our sides, but to our disappointment, we were told that they were out of stock. And it's not like we went at a later hour. Astons opens at 1130am and we were already there at around 130pm. We also had to wait 30 mins for our food to arrive. And that was only after I went up to the manager to ask him how come our food was taking so long to arrive. Not only that, our chickens were a bit burnt. Quite upsetting. So we left feeling full but not satisfied. :(

Went to Plaza Singapura to do some retail therapy next, since our senior manager pissed us off on Friday, saying we both + another colleague had broken our dept's records by not having any outbound sales for 3 months. Hey, if he thinks it's so easy, why doesn't he come down to our office to try it out? Don't be a pen pusher. I can go on and on about what a jerk he is, but I'll save that for another post.

Look at my loot!!!! As usual, Trinity my baby girl is being a busy body, hehe! That's it, after today, I'm gonna survive on bread and butter till my next pay is in.

Lolly Talk!!! This shop has so many unique flavors of candy that I had such a hard time choosing! The owner  is so chatty and friendly too! You can like their page here! Their Ice Cream Soda was just freshly made when we arrived, and he did not hesitate to give us a sample to try. It was so good! I finally decided to get Chili Lime, Ice Cream Soda, Rose Lime, and Jesus Loves Me, which is a mixture of watermelon and grape. Sounds so darn good. They also gave us a free packet, called Good Luck Mix. I have no idea what to do with all these candy now, lol!!!

 

 

 

We found a shop that sold candy for really cheap prices. I SAW REESE!!!! That is my ultimate favorite chocolate!!!! Ok, I have a lot of ultimate favorites. But REESE!!!!

Also saw jellybeans. Yes. I love candy. I love anything that's gotta do with sweet. I should work/live in Wonka's chocolate factory, if that place even existed.

Hello Kitty jelly beans! How adorable! Actually, this is a really smart marketing gimmick. It's not like the jelly beans have Hello Kitty's face on it. They are just 6 different flavors inside. But all it takes for this to fly off the shelves is for them to print Hello Kitty on it. :P Anyway, this one isn't for me. It's for one of my favorite DJs when I see her on Monday. She loves Hello Kitty. :)

 

A standard assorted pack for her co host, M. Ya, the very M that I went for a dinner date with. Can't buy for her and not get him anything ya?

I swear this I've never seen before in my entire life. Sakura flavor jellybeans! How to resist! It was sitting there, silently screaming at me to "Please BUY me!"

And these! Concealer and Dry Shampoo Spray from Etude House. I have the worst dark circles and eye bags, and since both my colleagues rave about this brand, I decided to try it out. And with the horrible hot weather in Singapore, making my hair oily all the time, I need to bring dry shampoo out, esp when I work at Celebrity Land, where you never know when you'll bump into some star and you don't want to look like crap taking pictures with them. 

I actually bought more stuff, hahaa. 3 hairbands for my god daughter, Faith, and a dress from Dorothy Perkins. Will take pictures of them tomorrow since I'm too lazy now.

Blessed Sunday

Today after church, my family was supposed to go to a church member's home for house dedication. Mum and I were thinking we could take a cab there. Turns out their car had enough space for the 3 of us. Yay! And not only that, they reserved tables at this really good Italian place for lunch. I had the best risotto ever. Can still feel the mushrooms in my tummy, hehhe!

Their house is lovely. Lovely view. Good breeze. Spacious. I pray God will fill their home with love, joy and laughter. They even drove us back as they needed to go somewhere near us to pick up some furniture. Really very blessed today.

My seizures for June has been lesser than May, despite the haze. It is really so awesome. I pray and hope that July will be the same as well.

No seizures since Sat noon! Amen!

Sat noon, I decided to do the laundry. While taking clothes out of the washing machine to hang, I had a minor seizure, resulting in me almost dropping my mum's damp shirt. After that, I even looked at the shirt, wondering how to hang it. LOL!

After that in the evening, I had to go down to our new church premises to set up the music instruments. On Sunday, I realized that I had to step out of my comfort zone and stand on stage as a backup vocalist. Back at our old church location, our stage wasn't big enough, so we stood off stage at a corner. I always stood near the seats just in case I felt giddy or wanted to sit down. Not very professional, yeah.

I was like "Oh no... on stage??? What if I faint!!! What if I have a minor seizure!!! I'll ruin the worship service!!!" I went off to have a little time to myself in the ladies (ya, I know it's not the most appropriate place to talk to God, but I really like being in a small tiny enclosure with no disturbance ok!), and asked God to please protect me and not let me have any seizures on stage. He answered my prayer!!! Oh come on, how would God ever let such a minor thing ruin Sundays right??

Just like what my dad preached. Faith and Fear cannot coexist. I must exercise that on a daily basis.

I say roughly the same prayers every night before I sleep. Sometimes I think if God wanted to speak to me audibly, he'll tell me to have some new things to say to him. I always ask Him to protect my family, bless us with good night's rest and give us sweet dreams.

Then I realized I haven't had the need to record any forms of sleep disorders, leg jerks or seizures since Sat afternoon. Despite a threatening haze of over 150 PSI, hot and humid weather. Haze + Hot + Humid just doesn't do it for me. I should have been born in some cold country. Dad hates the hot weather too.

I think right now, the only thing draining my energy is work. Sometimes the lazy me wishes my neurologist will declare me unfit to work. Or only can work from home. Something like that. :P But I shouldn't complain. I know a lot of people in the world have it worse.

Let's continue to pray for no more seizures! ;)

What do you do when your prayers are half answered?

You continue to thank God for answering your prayers. :)

I've been praying for good night's rest and sweet dreams. But I realise I still get tremblings when I try to sleep, especially when I feel that I'm drifting to sleep. And it happens in the mornings when I wake up too. I still get the occasional leg jerks in the mornings as well.

I got this message today:

Today, Pam, we believe God wants you to know that ...

true faith flowers from and through doubt.

If you never questioned your beliefs, - you are just a puppet dancing to somebody's strings. If God had wanted your 

mindless obedience, you would've been created without mind and without free will. But you have both so you can 

come to God of your own accord. Just look at the lives of saints, - most of them had gone through a dark night of 

the soul, and that's why their faith was so strong. The path to true faith always goes through doubt. So ask those 

questions you've always been afraid to ask, and find the answers, and then your faith will become unshakable.

Heh, amazing right? 

On this day of your life...

I was wondering what to post about. I've had enough of those angry ranting posts from the past, when I'd used to blog about how so and so irritated me and how so and so was very rude.

When I used to be really upset or angry, I'll come home and continue to rant about it to my parents or complain to my ex boyfriend. One fine day, he asked me to stop talking about my anger all the time. Back then, I didn't understand why. I didn't understand how come I can't talk about it. Not that I have the answer now, but I DO understand that the less angry you are, the more at peace you become.

Ok, so recently the management made a decision that a lot of us aren't very pleased about. I didn't talk about this to my parents, and only shared a bit of details to my ex colleague. I didn't blog about it, but yes, I knew I wasn't pleased about it. In the end, I ended up talking to God about it. I told God, yes I'm not happy. But I believe everything is for a reason and a purpose. So, if this is how it should be, then ok. I'll learn to live with it and just believe and trust God.

Got a notification in FB from this app, God Wants You To Know:

On this day, God wants you to know that...

...only full acceptance can bring you true peace.

Acceptance does not mean resignation. Accept to befriend and transform, instead of trying to fight and destroy.

Hahaaha, doesn't God work in mysterious ways?

My bestie gave birth!

Welcome to Earth, little Asher Elia!!!

Bestie was describing to me the entire process from when her water bag burst, to at the hospital, to when she finally went into labour. WITHOUT EPIDURAL!!!!

I salute my mom. And those women from olden days who didn't have the luxury of hospitals and medical help.

Thought that it'll be easy to get a cab back from the hospital. Heck no.. no cab! And I was feeling so tired and getting nervous cos it was getting late and the taxi queue isn't a very comfortable area. Thank God I managed to book a cab and reached home safely.

Reading through past memories

I decided to click on a blog I was following, and then saw a link to my past blog. Curious, I clicked on it as I've forgotten what I've blogged about at other blogsites.

Wow, I was such a nasty person. Haha. And I was so much slimmer last time! I look at my reflection now and even mothers of 2 or 3 kids look better than I do. Oh wells, it's my fault for not exercising and gorging on my beloved sugars.

Of course, there were entries that made me smile too. Entries of when I trusted the Lord through times of difficulty. I guess... this one year or so of putting my focus on what's not important had made me forgotten the most important thing. God.

Last night, I had one of the worst nights trying to sleep. Somehow I kind of expected it. Like I somehow knew I won't be having a peaceful sleep even though I've already prayed. Not sure why. I even turned in early. It lasted all the way till the morning. I would be drifting to sleep, then would be disrupted with mild seizures. Even after I managed to sleep, I woke up with mild seizures again. Very nerve wreaking.

I didn't intend to let my mom know about it, and she was nagging about laundry not done. Which I kept quiet and let her nag. In the past I would have snapped or gave her a black face. But I guess it's my fault as well for forgetting. Later on, she asked about whether my sleep test would be covered by insurance, which I didn't know. That gave me an opportunity to let her know of my awful night. Thank God she didn't nag further after that.

Amazingly, I managed to get some sleep in my sister's room! No seizures! And my bed is supposed to be more comfy that hers.

I really pray tonight I have a good night's rest. I need the energy for church tomorrow. I want to go to church.

Well Hello again!

Been on a hiatus for months!

I'm still working at the same place, with some new colleagues. They really bring joy to my work life! But I have a feeling, soon, I will be saying goodbye to this place.

Reason being, I find this job very draining. It literally sucks my energy every day. Just today, I was really upset over certain things, and I had a minor seizure at home. Very mild one, don't worry.

Actually, I think it's weird. My neurologist says I must not be stressed. But how not to be? Every thing in Singapore makes people stressed.

Back to the minor seizure. It was really funny. It was when I was about to remove my makeup before hitting the shower. After I snapped out of my stunned-and-blank-for-a-few-seconds mode, I began removing my makeup. Or so I thought. When I hit the shower, I realized my body had makeup remover oil! ROFL!!!! And I forgot to wet my hair before putting shampoo on it! I told God, "Jesus, please don't let it happen when I'm putting on clothes before going out ah! I might forget to wear undergarments!"

I'm really trying not to think so much about my seizures nowadays, but it's really tough. I've been scheduled for a Sleep Disorder Test in July. May has been a tough month. I developed occasional leg jerks, and sometimes have a very hard time sleeping at night. I tremble and get minor seizures just as I'm about to drift off to sleep. It's very stressful and scary.

Every night before I sleep, I do my devotion. Then I go to this wonderful app called Prayer Wall. It helps me to see prayer requests from others who use the app. I can request for prayers too. So far, I love this app. I've had people leaving comments on my prayer requests for good night rest and healing. And I get to know of other people who need prayer too.

Yes everyone, this is the new me. No more easily angry easily irritated me. Ok fine, maybe I still blow up occasionally. Give me time! I am trying to change!

I love talking to God. I love listening to christian music on my way to work. I love going to church. I've not changed because I'm scared God won't protect me if I have a seizure. I've changed because I've come to realize how important God is to me.

Faith is not knowing God can. It's knowing God will. I have faith that God will protect me.